I'm currently scrounging for free websites that don't require paid memberships where I can post my novels.
I found Fanstory, but it required payment.
So I dropped down to these two:
Young Writers Society
and
Booksie.
They seem to be pretty good sites. :)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Depression
I know my behavior yesterday was unreasonable. You people never did anything to me that would constitute such an attitude. But like in many things I've done, I can only say that I'm sorry and I couldn't help it.
I was extremely irritated yesterday because I could have gone home early, if only we'd finished our project in Comp. Sci. a long time ago. I could have gone home early if some people didn't bother Lainly and thus delayed the completion of the movie editing. I could have gone home early if they didn't spend their time using my laptop in other ways instead of burning the finished movie into a CD. I could have gone home early if they'd helped instead of delayed. I would have never fought with my mother over always being the one who brought the needed things if only others were responsible enough to bring their own, seeing as this is a class project and not an individual project.
Life is full of I could haves. Sometimes, it's not worth it to think about the possibilities and dwell on them instead of focusing on the present. But at the time, I forgot that and grew irritated, frustrated, angry, a mix of sadness and other intense, negative emotions, fueled by the fact that I was tired.
Because of that, I preferred being alone in order not to blow up at other people. As I waited for my mom to fetch me, I went to the bathroom and had crying jags on and off. I didn't understand why. And in my head, I was just so freaking tired of pretending to be polite and being a good sport about the delay, when really, I wasn't. So I shut up and was indifferent to other people. Simply put, I ignored them because I didn't trust myself to be calm enough not to yell at them and drag them along with my misdirected feelings. So I stayed silent.
I don't know. I want to say sorry, but I'm not that sorry. I can't just decide on one thing.
Wounds will heal in time.
I was extremely irritated yesterday because I could have gone home early, if only we'd finished our project in Comp. Sci. a long time ago. I could have gone home early if some people didn't bother Lainly and thus delayed the completion of the movie editing. I could have gone home early if they didn't spend their time using my laptop in other ways instead of burning the finished movie into a CD. I could have gone home early if they'd helped instead of delayed. I would have never fought with my mother over always being the one who brought the needed things if only others were responsible enough to bring their own, seeing as this is a class project and not an individual project.
Life is full of I could haves. Sometimes, it's not worth it to think about the possibilities and dwell on them instead of focusing on the present. But at the time, I forgot that and grew irritated, frustrated, angry, a mix of sadness and other intense, negative emotions, fueled by the fact that I was tired.
Because of that, I preferred being alone in order not to blow up at other people. As I waited for my mom to fetch me, I went to the bathroom and had crying jags on and off. I didn't understand why. And in my head, I was just so freaking tired of pretending to be polite and being a good sport about the delay, when really, I wasn't. So I shut up and was indifferent to other people. Simply put, I ignored them because I didn't trust myself to be calm enough not to yell at them and drag them along with my misdirected feelings. So I stayed silent.
I don't know. I want to say sorry, but I'm not that sorry. I can't just decide on one thing.
Wounds will heal in time.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Batch 2013: Harapan!
March 22, 2010. The day of our retreat.
I had to wake up five o'clock to make a scrapbook page for my brother, which would be given to him during his retreat on the 23rd. I finished it at around six-thirty in the morning, which was also the precise moment he woke up. While he was taking a bath, I hid what I'd made in my mother's room, knowing that she'd take care of it later.
My watch read seven-thirty when I arrived at school, which meant I had to wait 2 hours before we would assemble and leave for St. Clement's Retreat House. During that time, the first years (us) were asked to vote for the SA officers. SAGA all the way, with Vanessa for Vice and Lainly for Asst. Sec. We still had about thirty minutes to kill, so we went up to watch the Grand Rally --- which Karla and Ashley boycotted though they were running for PRO and Batch Rep. respectively.
At 10:30, we left for St.Clement's. There were 87 of us; only three couldn't come.
We settled into our rooms before lunch, girls at the second floor and boys at the ground floor. My roomies: Aya and Katreena. Katreena made the room loud, but though we promised to influence Aya into talking more, we kind of failed. Haha. I think she likes it better that way.
The first session had us experience a "fantasy shopping" and then we were required to decorate paper bags with the thing that described us most. On a one-half sheet of bond paper, we drew what we didn't want to touch. In the second session, we made six lines and did a variety of activities. Touch each other's face : That was sensitivity. Lean on each other (you have to put all your weight and just lean on the person behind you) : Trust. Seesaw (we didn't do anything right here) : Teamwork. And going around in a circle then sitting on the lap of the person behind you : Independence.
The third session had us answering various questions. I got three "I admire you"s from Ina, Lainly and somebody else I can't remember; one "I feel close to you" from Karla; one "I am most happy with you" from Alfonso (though he initially put me in "I admire you". Either way, I don't understand why he put me there); an "I trust you" from Andre; and the rest mostly went for "I am counting on you".
Before we went to sleep, we talked about conflicts within the section and whatnot. Ma'am called me well-rounded; I have no idea why. When I asked the others what my problem was, they said that I was "too smart." WTH?
I went to sleep at one a.m. and woke up six. Our session for the day had us talking about Jesus' love for us.
Finally, the pictures. They were outright creepy, okay? Seriously creepy.
I hope when you have your own retreat/recollection you'd learn and have fun as much as I have.
I had to wake up five o'clock to make a scrapbook page for my brother, which would be given to him during his retreat on the 23rd. I finished it at around six-thirty in the morning, which was also the precise moment he woke up. While he was taking a bath, I hid what I'd made in my mother's room, knowing that she'd take care of it later.
My watch read seven-thirty when I arrived at school, which meant I had to wait 2 hours before we would assemble and leave for St. Clement's Retreat House. During that time, the first years (us) were asked to vote for the SA officers. SAGA all the way, with Vanessa for Vice and Lainly for Asst. Sec. We still had about thirty minutes to kill, so we went up to watch the Grand Rally --- which Karla and Ashley boycotted though they were running for PRO and Batch Rep. respectively.
At 10:30, we left for St.Clement's. There were 87 of us; only three couldn't come.
We settled into our rooms before lunch, girls at the second floor and boys at the ground floor. My roomies: Aya and Katreena. Katreena made the room loud, but though we promised to influence Aya into talking more, we kind of failed. Haha. I think she likes it better that way.
The first session had us experience a "fantasy shopping" and then we were required to decorate paper bags with the thing that described us most. On a one-half sheet of bond paper, we drew what we didn't want to touch. In the second session, we made six lines and did a variety of activities. Touch each other's face : That was sensitivity. Lean on each other (you have to put all your weight and just lean on the person behind you) : Trust. Seesaw (we didn't do anything right here) : Teamwork. And going around in a circle then sitting on the lap of the person behind you : Independence.
The third session had us answering various questions. I got three "I admire you"s from Ina, Lainly and somebody else I can't remember; one "I feel close to you" from Karla; one "I am most happy with you" from Alfonso (though he initially put me in "I admire you". Either way, I don't understand why he put me there); an "I trust you" from Andre; and the rest mostly went for "I am counting on you".
Before we went to sleep, we talked about conflicts within the section and whatnot. Ma'am called me well-rounded; I have no idea why. When I asked the others what my problem was, they said that I was "too smart." WTH?
I went to sleep at one a.m. and woke up six. Our session for the day had us talking about Jesus' love for us.
Finally, the pictures. They were outright creepy, okay? Seriously creepy.
I hope when you have your own retreat/recollection you'd learn and have fun as much as I have.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Finally found something I can work with. Credit to taerkitty of fictionpress. Hopefully, she approves.
I am a dream. I have no shape without you. I am but thoughts, images, sounds. I need you to give me life and purpose. I need you, but I don't want you. I search for you, but dread the night I find you.
I am a dream. I have no shape without you. I am but thoughts, images, sounds. I need you to give me life and purpose. I need you, but I don't want you. I search for you, but dread the night I find you.
Blank
I try, really, really try, to write something. I try to think of a really good idea, a plot that no one has ever thought of before. But I guess everyone and everything else has leeched off my creativity and any shred I have left.
I am blank. Really, truly blank.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have this insane passion for writing, because now I am hard-pressed to write something and I am still as empty as ever. I hate this. I really dread moments like this.
This is is the first time I have ever had writer's block.
I will now go and cool off at a site I know which, hopefully, erases all this helplessness I am experiencing at the moment and strike the timber of a worthwhile thought, setting the flame of a good plot going.
Hopefully.
I am blank. Really, truly blank.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have this insane passion for writing, because now I am hard-pressed to write something and I am still as empty as ever. I hate this. I really dread moments like this.
This is is the first time I have ever had writer's block.
I will now go and cool off at a site I know which, hopefully, erases all this helplessness I am experiencing at the moment and strike the timber of a worthwhile thought, setting the flame of a good plot going.
Hopefully.
Pour out the hate
Yes, I have been increasingly irritated at her. As in really, really irritated that I'm about to blow up. And I'm not a pretty sight when I blow up. Nor am I calm either. I forget what I'm doing when I blow up, and I don't want that to happen.
I usually try not to judge other people, but lately, she's gone too far.
She can't just step all over other people. She just can't.
I hate her being obnoxious. I hate it when she puts other people down. I hate it when she blames other people for her mistakes. I hate it when she's too controlling. I hate it when she finds a flaw in you and then ignores you for the rest of your life. I hate it when she butts in. I hate it when she's being a brat. I hate it when she's being a bitch.
I like female dogs, but I hate bitches.
I am so freaking tired of her and how she controls everyone else's lives as if she has a right to. As if she's perfectly licensed to. Even though she's not.
And her irresponsibility. Her laziness. Her lies.
She insults us when we commit errors, but what does she exactly do to help?
You know what the bottom line is?
I HATE HER.
I usually try not to judge other people, but lately, she's gone too far.
She can't just step all over other people. She just can't.
I hate her being obnoxious. I hate it when she puts other people down. I hate it when she blames other people for her mistakes. I hate it when she's too controlling. I hate it when she finds a flaw in you and then ignores you for the rest of your life. I hate it when she butts in. I hate it when she's being a brat. I hate it when she's being a bitch.
I like female dogs, but I hate bitches.
I am so freaking tired of her and how she controls everyone else's lives as if she has a right to. As if she's perfectly licensed to. Even though she's not.
And her irresponsibility. Her laziness. Her lies.
She insults us when we commit errors, but what does she exactly do to help?
You know what the bottom line is?
I HATE HER.
Possible plots...
*is thinking, is thinking*
Uhm...okay. Let us begin!
Dial Danger : The 'D' murder case has bewildered every policeman involved. Mark Alden knows that to save the lives of future victims, he must find out what makes this elusive killer tick.
Who is 'D'?
Alone : Chris and Lillian were best friends. The day they fell in love was also the day things changed.
Can Lillian save him and sacrifice their love for his life?
*is thinking, is thinking*
Uhm...okay. Let us begin!
Dial Danger : The 'D' murder case has bewildered every policeman involved. Mark Alden knows that to save the lives of future victims, he must find out what makes this elusive killer tick.
Who is 'D'?
Alone : Chris and Lillian were best friends. The day they fell in love was also the day things changed.
Can Lillian save him and sacrifice their love for his life?
RANDOM THOUGHTS
1. Something about two people stuck together as roommates.
2. A novel on the world falling apart ---literally--- in a young girl's life.
P.S. ANY GREAT IDEAS? Please let me know. :)
Yeah. I noticed that most of my time is devoted to writing novels that I end up scrapping anyway.
Most of them have pretty sucky ideas that leave me cold.
When I do get good ideas, I end up messing them.
So where do I go?
WANTS TO WRITE NOVELS = WRITES NOVELS = NOVELS SUCK = SCRAPS NOVELS = DELETES THEM = NO NOVELS AT ALL
PLOTS
I am in desperate need of very good plotlines that I (hopefully) won't muck up. If you have a good plot and if you want to give it to me free, please comment below.
Thank you.
P.S. I feel bad for asking other people to barter their ideas without anything in exchange. Although I don't think anyone cares about coming over here and reading this post anyway.
Thank you.
P.S. I feel bad for asking other people to barter their ideas without anything in exchange. Although I don't think anyone cares about coming over here and reading this post anyway.
Okay.
We made a movie for Computer Science. Its plot is unidentifiable, though it's supposed to be a la High School Musical except they don't sing, meaning the lead guy has to choose between the play and the sport, except there's no cool stuff like the "accidents" that occur and, like I said before, NO SINGING.
So I begin putting all the scenes together 'cause I wanted to see what the outcome would be. I inserted random transitions between scenes to make it a bit more fun. Then I played it.
Around the scene where the mean girls attack the poor protagonist, my baby brother wakes up and joins me on the couch. When the movie ends, I ask him, "Did you like it?"
He said, "Yes."
"What was your favorite part?"
He was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "Ashley."
The protagonist's character name was Ashley (although the girl who plays it is also named Ashley). After that, he kept on bothering me, saying, "May I watch the movie of Ashley?" over and over again.
Joking around, I asked him : "Do you have a crush on Ashley?"
He flat out replied "Yes."
O.o
The hell. Well, you can blow me down now.
Hey. So I went swimming this morning. And the pool water was --- ick ---dirty. Well, not that kind of dirty, but it was green and murky even though the sky was a perfect blue. So we kind of swam for only an hour before getting the heck out of there.
Before that, though, we ate one huge breakfast at Hotel del Rio's buffet. Rice, tocino, mini burger, pastries...yeah, I was pretty full.
Yesterday night, I had to tag along to IV-Graviton's party. Did I want to? A little, because of the food. But mostly, I knew I would feel like a complete tool, lying around and reading The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold which, by the way, is the same book my father is reading and it is a very beautiful story. I wasn't far off the mark. Well, whatever. I'm just a lowly freshman, and though I admire this batch, I'm not in their league nor will anyone ever be.
On the 18th of March, I visited St. Joseph. The backyard was approximately one half of Pisay's football field, and the rest of the school took up the other half of the field, which makes St.Jo only a fourth of Pisay, an eighth of INHS and a sixteenth of CPU.
It became smaller. I never thought that was in any way possible.
Recollection/Retreat will be on Monday until Tuesday. Right now, I'm getting to work on another new novel.
Thanks for comin' round!
Before that, though, we ate one huge breakfast at Hotel del Rio's buffet. Rice, tocino, mini burger, pastries...yeah, I was pretty full.
Yesterday night, I had to tag along to IV-Graviton's party. Did I want to? A little, because of the food. But mostly, I knew I would feel like a complete tool, lying around and reading The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold which, by the way, is the same book my father is reading and it is a very beautiful story. I wasn't far off the mark. Well, whatever. I'm just a lowly freshman, and though I admire this batch, I'm not in their league nor will anyone ever be.
On the 18th of March, I visited St. Joseph. The backyard was approximately one half of Pisay's football field, and the rest of the school took up the other half of the field, which makes St.Jo only a fourth of Pisay, an eighth of INHS and a sixteenth of CPU.
It became smaller. I never thought that was in any way possible.
Recollection/Retreat will be on Monday until Tuesday. Right now, I'm getting to work on another new novel.
Thanks for comin' round!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
The day is nearly over, and so is my very first year as a freshman in Pisay. The year 2010 also marks my brother's graduation and eventual college education in Manila, my parents and baby brother moving on to Saudi Arabia for a minimum of six months, leaving me alone with my grandmother.
But let us not go on to the end of the world.
The 16th of March began late, by our standards anyway. My brother and I woke at 7:30, resulting with us having to go to school in a taxi because my mother had to do other things. Clearances were signed with sleepy breaks in between. Most action would probably happen tomorrow.
The scholarship meeting was held today. For the first time in my high school life, I didn't worry. I simply went about the institution with the detached air of someone who doesn't need to pay too much attention to her grades but rather, she enjoys whatever is in store for her.
I've missed that feeling for quite some time now. That feeling where everything matters, just not why. And though there were some problems like having to return my report card tomorrow, finishing up a few requirements like the movie for Computer Science and replacing the beaker I'd shattered two months ago for SRA, it was pretty fine. Instant pancit, halo-halo and shake all around, just appreciating what I had for the moment.
Both time and life go by so fast; sometimes we ourselves have to give in to every ebb and every changing tide and trust that it will bring us to the shores we wish to reach, the places we dream to travel.
I have a new policy now: Once I've committed to do something, I will never regret it, nor will I give up on it.
This optimism has carried me through the day until wonderful news fell upon my ears: Still being a DL for the fourth and last quarter, with my GWA rising to an astronomical 1.21, equating to a single conclusion: the fulfillment of my father's promise to buy me a Corby. There are eleven of us now in the Director's List, though two of them had dropped out (one due to the fact that she was absent for two weeks with chicken pox so she missed a lot, and another who couldn't get back in after dropping from the list last quarter) and another's average had lowered, though she was still in the range, but all the same, it was quite an achievement for us.
The results:
Me --- 1.21
Christine --- 1.24
Andre --- 1.32
Joahnna --- 1.33
Loui --- 1.35
Sofia --- 1.37
Meloh --- 1.37
Lainly --- 1.38
Karla --- 1.48
Aya --- 1.48
Bernie --- 1.49
If only I could shake off my nostalgia and sadness at the fact that we would have to be resectioned next year, and that we would have to say goodbye to the fourth years. They were quite a talented bunch. I don't know if the juniors are up to shouldering this new responsibility of being the seniors, but I do hope they live up to everyone's expectations.
The clock is ticking and now I bid adieu, for I must sleep.
But let us not go on to the end of the world.
The 16th of March began late, by our standards anyway. My brother and I woke at 7:30, resulting with us having to go to school in a taxi because my mother had to do other things. Clearances were signed with sleepy breaks in between. Most action would probably happen tomorrow.
The scholarship meeting was held today. For the first time in my high school life, I didn't worry. I simply went about the institution with the detached air of someone who doesn't need to pay too much attention to her grades but rather, she enjoys whatever is in store for her.
I've missed that feeling for quite some time now. That feeling where everything matters, just not why. And though there were some problems like having to return my report card tomorrow, finishing up a few requirements like the movie for Computer Science and replacing the beaker I'd shattered two months ago for SRA, it was pretty fine. Instant pancit, halo-halo and shake all around, just appreciating what I had for the moment.
Both time and life go by so fast; sometimes we ourselves have to give in to every ebb and every changing tide and trust that it will bring us to the shores we wish to reach, the places we dream to travel.
I have a new policy now: Once I've committed to do something, I will never regret it, nor will I give up on it.
This optimism has carried me through the day until wonderful news fell upon my ears: Still being a DL for the fourth and last quarter, with my GWA rising to an astronomical 1.21, equating to a single conclusion: the fulfillment of my father's promise to buy me a Corby. There are eleven of us now in the Director's List, though two of them had dropped out (one due to the fact that she was absent for two weeks with chicken pox so she missed a lot, and another who couldn't get back in after dropping from the list last quarter) and another's average had lowered, though she was still in the range, but all the same, it was quite an achievement for us.
The results:
Me --- 1.21
Christine --- 1.24
Andre --- 1.32
Joahnna --- 1.33
Loui --- 1.35
Sofia --- 1.37
Meloh --- 1.37
Lainly --- 1.38
Karla --- 1.48
Aya --- 1.48
Bernie --- 1.49
If only I could shake off my nostalgia and sadness at the fact that we would have to be resectioned next year, and that we would have to say goodbye to the fourth years. They were quite a talented bunch. I don't know if the juniors are up to shouldering this new responsibility of being the seniors, but I do hope they live up to everyone's expectations.
The clock is ticking and now I bid adieu, for I must sleep.
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